Late at Night With the Deep Eyes
by Destiny Lockheart
Summary: FF:TSW fic. UPDATED The insanity continues when Jane and Neil start arguing about which one of them is better looking. Lollipops to those who review. ^-^
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer and Authoress' notes: I don't own Final Fantasy: The Spirit's Within or anything related. And don't sue me because all you'd get is my computer so why bother? This was a short, pointless, crazy fic I wrote one night. Please don't hurt me cause of it.

&-&-&-&

Late at Night With the Deep Eyes

By Destiny Lockheart

Jane threw her pillow over head. She couldn't believe Neil was causing her to lose sleep, again. She tried to ignore it and forget about it, but it penetrated. She kicked the bunk above her. "Neil, wake up!" No response. "Neil!"

"Hey, Jane, do you mind keeping it down?" Sergeant Ryan called from his bunk. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Sorry, Serge." She gave the bed above her one final kick before attempting to go to sleep again. It was useless. It just wouldn't stop bothering her. She sighed and sat up.

Ryan looked over at the other bunk and mentally sighed. It was going to be another one of those nights. Jane pulled out a flashlight and began flipping through a magazine. "Since I'm awake," he said, "care to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" she asked, not really paying attention. Her mind was more focused on how she could pay Neil back for this later.

Ryan made a mental note about talking to the captain tomorrow about the possibilities of him getting his own room. Or maybe he could share a room with the captain. Anything was better than being stuck with those two for seven hours every night. "About you and Neil?"

She raised an eyebrow and stared directly at him. "About me and Neil?"

Ryan was beginning to regret ever joining the Deepeyes. At least then he wouldn't have had to put up with this every other night. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Just give me enough time to get out of here before it breaks."

Jane decided she couldn't take it any longer. She grabbed her pillow and climbed onto Neil's bunk. "Before what breaks? Every single last bone in Neil's body?" She whacked him with her pillow.

"That was too much information," Ryan said, glancing at the clock. Three o'clock. That meant exactly two more hours until he could take his complaint to the captain.

"Oww!" Neil said, sitting up in his bed and rubbing his head. "Was I doing it again?"

"Yes," she said, hitting him again.

"I'm sorry, but it's really not my fault, you know."

Ryan began looking nervously around him. "I really have to talk to the captain", he muttered.

"What's up with him?" Neil asked.

"He wants to talk to me about us."

"Whoa, babe, since when was there any plural words in your vocabulary pertaining to you and me?"

"And what have I told you about keeping that word in your vocabulary pertaining to me?"

"That's it!" Ryan said, standing up. "I'm getting out of here before you two start making out."

"What?!?!" They both yelled.

"This is all your fault," Jane said, pointing to Neil.

"My fault?"

"Yes, if you wouldn't spend so much time staring at me, this never would have happened."

"Ryan, Jane, Neil, knock it off!" Gray yelled from his room. "Or I'll toss all three of you in the brink together." Gray thought about that for a moment, then reconsidered. Knowing his luck, if Jane and Neil didn't succeed in killing each other, and they didn't drive Ryan insane, all three of them would come back, this would continue, and they'd make his life even more of a living hell. "Scratch that."

"You two know what I'm talking about," Ryan said. "I've read this fic and it ended up NC-17." With that, he turned and went running out of the room.

Neil and Jane blinked. "Neil, do you know what he's talking about?"

"Not really, but I know how we can find out." He pulled out his laptop and turned it on. "It'll just take a few minutes to get online."

&-&-&-&

Ryan stood outside the captain's door and began knocking on it. "Captain, please open the door."

Gray sighed and got out of his bed. If he was going to be up, he had better things he could do. Like trying to figure out where Aki had gone, not explaining something to Ryan for the fifth time in one week. He really should have kept the sergeant away from the Internet. It had only succeeded in warping the poor man's mind. Gray surprised himself by opening the door. "Sergeant, what are you doing here? Do you realize what time it is?"

"Sorry sir, but I really can't share a room with those two anymore."

"Ryan, we've been through this before. What you read on the internet is generally entirely made up."

&-&-&-&

Back in the Deep Eyes' room…waiting to get online….

"Neil, exactly how old is your computer?"

"Let's just say it's older than the captain but younger than that Dr. Cid guy," he said, intently watching his computer screen. "Yes, we are online." He began typing.

"Neil, remind yourself to get a new computer next time you get paid."

"And what happens if I don't?" he asked, glancing back at her.

"I'm sure I could remind you someway."

"I don't like the sound of that. I think that I'm not going to take my chances and I'll remind myself." A few more minutes and "Right, we have now arrived at fanfiction.net."

"Fanfiction.net?" She read the screen over his shoulder. "Isn't that the place where they keep all those fics on various subjects?"

"That's the one."

"I thought Ryan didn't use the Internet," Jane said, wondering what fanfiction.net had to do with anything.

"He doesn't, normally," Neil said. "He may have found a new hobby recently." He began scanning through the fics. "Okay, Final Fantasy, Spirits Within… here it is."

He opened the fic up and began reading it. "Now I think I know why he went running out of here so fast."

Jane went down to her own bunk. "You're both crazy," she said, picking up her magazine.

"This is interesting," Neil said. Jane rolled her eyes. "Hey, do you think we can try this sometime?" he asked.

Her eyes narrowed. "What? I'll give you a ten second head start."

"What'd I do?" he asked, but he jumped off his bed and went running towards the door. Jane slowly counted to ten, then went chasing after him.

&-&-&-&

"Do you understand?" Captain Gray asked Ryan. Ryan nodded his head. "Good." Gray patted him on the shoulder. He was just about to turn to go into his room when he saw Neil running towards him. "What now?"

"Captain, you gotta help me." He said running up to Gray.

Gray noticed Jane shortly behind him. "What did you do now, Neil?" Gray asked.

"Me! I didn't do anything!" He hid behind Gray.

"Captain, please move," Jane said, glaring at Neil.

"That's it!" Gray yelled. "All of you, back into your room now! And if I hear one more peep out of any of you, I'll make sure none of you ever sleep again! Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," they all said meekly. They turned and headed back towards their room.

Gray went inside his room and closed the door behind him. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. Four thirty. 'Damn, I lost more sleep then I thought.' He crawled under his covers and attempted to go back to sleep. Tomorrow, he was going to have to talk to each of the Deep Eyes individually and reprimand them for tonight's behavior. But right now, he had to get to sleep.


	2. The insanity continues....

Late at Night With The Deep Eyes

The Insanity Continues.....

Disclaimer: Yeah... I don't own'em... never will.... I'm thinking about making a chat fic with all the FF:TSW characters sometime.. What do you think?

Warnings: This fic is not for anyone slightly sane....

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Ryan sighed as he drifted off into a peaceful slumber. After that reprimand from Gray, Jane and Neil should be quiet for the rest of the night, which meant he could rest easily. 

"Hey, Jane, I still think we should act out that fic sometime."

Ryan's eyes snapped open in fright. Dear gods, no! Let him face the phantoms unarmed, anything but this!

"No, Neil," Jane replied sounding quite irritated.

"Well, what happens if the phantoms wipe out everyone else and we have to repopulate?"

"Neil, humankind is doomed if you were the only male left to repopulate."

Jane closed her eyes, satisfied that he wouldn't be able to come up with a comeback to that one. At least not an intelligent one. "You're just jealous."

Jane sat up, realizing that this particular argument could go on until it was time for the morning wake-up call. "Why would I be jealous of you? I could kick your ass any day."

"Maybe," Neil admitted reluctantly, "but I'm so much better looking than you."

Jane sighed. He would come up with anything for the sake of an argument. Still, she wasn't willing to turn down a challenge, especially if it came from him. She snorted. This one would be easy to win. "I think not."

"I think so. Why do you think I have a much bigger fan club?" he gloated. It was so much fun to get into these arguments. 

"Because its a great way for people to get together and make fun of you," Jane offered. Neil pouted. This wasn't the way this was supposed to be going. 

"Fine. There's only one way to settle this," he replied, formulating a plan.

Jane pulled out her gun and jumped onto his bed, aiming the gun at him. "I agree."

Neil gulped nervously. "I didn't mean by violence," he muttered. He cleared his throat. "I think we should ask other people."

Jane put her gun down. "Alright, but you'll quickly find out who the better member of this team." 

They both turned towards Ryan. "Sergeant."

Ryan groaned. He hadn't really been paying much attention but whatever they wanted, it could not be good. "We need to ask you something," Neil began. 

"We need you to tell us which one of us is better looking," Jane said rather bluntly.

Ryan looked at the two of them with a look of sheer terror on his face. Slowly, he crawled off his bed and made his way to the door, watching them the entire time. Once at the door, he turned and ran screaming "Captain!" as he raced down the hallway.

"That was successful," Jane mumbled. She noticed Neil pulling out his laptop and connecting to the internet. "Neil, what the hell are you doing?"

Neil looked at her as if it should be perfectly obvious. "I'm going online to see what other people think."

Meanwhile, Ryan had made it to the captain's door and began to pound on it frantically. "Captain, please, for the love of God, let me in!"

A very annoyed looking Gray opened the door. "Sergeant, what do you think you're doing?" he said as Ryan pushed past him and sat down on Gray's couch.

"You got to help me," Ryan pleaded.

Back in the Deep Eyes' room, Neil had connected to the internet and was opening his various messengers. "Who should we ask first?" Jane said, looking at his lists of online "buddies." 

"Let's ask Firesong first," Neil said, opening up the message box.

Hotstuff457: Hey, Firesong, I have a question for you.

Jane snorted. "Hotstuff? You really are delusional." Neil gave her a hurt look before turning back to his computer.

Firesong121: Ask away. 

Hotstuff457: Who do you think is better looking? Me or Jane?

Firesong121: You, definitely. You are so hot.

Neil stuck his tongue out at Jane as Firesong continued to praise him. "You see? They love me."

Jane raised an eyebrow in response. "Neil, isn't Firesong a guy?"

Neil looked at the stream of praise coming onto his screen and quickly hit the block button. He shuddered. "Remind me not to talk to him again." 

"Try Vulpix next," Jane suggested.

Hotstuff457: Vulpix, who's better looking, me or Jane?

Vulpix225: *yawns* Do you realize what time it is?

Hotstuff457: Yeah, but....

Vulpix225: I need my beauty sleep and you woke me up for an idiotic question like this? Why I ougtha... 

Neil and Jane both flinched and turned away as a string of obscenities crossed the screen. Neil closed the message block. "Remind me only to talk to her during daylight hours." He studied his list of online "buddies." "Maybe we should try Farrel next."

Hotstuff457: Is Jane better looking than me?

Farrel: Hmm.... Why are you asking?

Hotstuff457: Just answer the question.

Farrel: Yes, by far. G'nite.

Jane smirked. "That's one for me."

Neil sulked. He was winning, even if it had only been by one vote. Now they were tied. "Yeah, yeah. Let's see what happens after we talk to Nekessla."

Hotstuff457: Hello, Nekessla.

Nekessla: Who the hell are you?

Hotstuff457: Do you think I'm better looking than Jane?

Nekessla: I don't even know who the hell you are. Leave me alone.

Hotstuff457: Could you just answer the question?

Nekessla: Go to hell, you bastard. You talk to me again and I'll send my entourage after you.

Neil and Jane both blinked. "Okay, that was strange. Neil, what did you do to that poor girl?" Jane asked angrily.

"How should I know? Vulpix told me she loved us."

Jane shook her head, muttering something about not trusting teenage girls who watched Pokemon. "We still have one more person we could ask," Jane said, pointing to the last name on the screen. 

Neil gulped. "Are you sure you want me to ask _him?_" That seemed like a dangerous plan that could get them kicked out of the army. 

Jane shrugged. "We need to break our tie somehow."

Neil took a deep breath before starting the conversation. 

Hotstuff457: Sir?

Psychogeneral307: What do you want, Fleming?

Hotstuff457: I was wondering, sir, if you could please tell us who you found more attractive. Myself or corporal Jane Proudfoot?

Psychogeneral307: Are you two on something?

Hotstuff457: No, not exactly, sir...

Psychogeneral307: Or maybe you've been smoking?

Hotstuff457: No, sir.

Psychogeneral307: Or did something hit you on your heads?

Hotstuff457: No, sir, if you would please just answer the question...

Sexytrench has just joined the conversation. 

Sexytrench: Major, what the hell are you doing chatting with this soldier?

Psychogeneral307: Sorry, general. 

Sexytrench: Shut it. I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses. You're supposed to be ordering those cookies for me. Or did you forget, Elliot, whose in charge around here? 

Psychogeneral307: No sir, sorry, sir. I'll get right on it sir.

Neil quickly disconnected from the chat before General Hein remembered he was there. 

"That was a wasted of time," Jane said, leaning back against the wall.

"I guess there is only one way to settle this," Neil said, pulling out a deck of cards.

"Neil, do you really think we can settle this with a game of cards?"

"Sure, high card wins." He put the cards down in the center of his bed. 

Before Jane could pick up a card Gray came bursting into the room. They both looked up at him surprised. "Would you two like to tell me why you felt that you had to traumatize the Sergeant?"

"We traumatized the Sergeant?" Neil asked. Now that was a next to impossible feat.

"Yes!" he bellowed.

"All we did was ask which one of us is better looking," Jane said, climbing back down to her bed. 

Gray looked at them as if they had both gone entirely insane, which wasn't too far from the truth. "Speaking of which," Neil piped up, "Captain, which one of us do you find more attractive?"

Gray glared at them. "I'm better looking than both of you combined. Does that answer your question? Now, for god's sake, stop traumatizing your Sergeant!" With that, he stormed out of the room. 

"No he's not," Jane and Neil both mumbled as they prepared to go back to sleep.


End file.
